The cool part about the ‘I’ of the INTJ spectrum;


Have you tried spending time with yourself lately?

No, I do not mean avoiding people. I mean spending an alone time with ‘yours truly’ because you relish it! Also, alone is not equal to lonely; let’s get the definitions right. Being alone simply means being in a physical space where no other person is, OR being mentally captivated or entangled by all the thoughts running through your mind while in a public place; yes, you can be alone in your mind and I use that technique a lot when overwhelmed by the voices outside. Loneliness CAN happen in both scenarios. The difference between an average introvert’s alone time, and a person who is feeling lonely would be the difference in motif, kind of thought and activity.

I found myself in a group setting once where a question was asked; when you think about your happiest moments in life, what comes to mind? Immediately, I thought of myself in my walk-in closet creating music or doing some other creative stuff with no human interference. I didn’t share this though. Minorities have often been branded and learning about how my bluntness affects people, I like to leave deeper conversations for one-on-one sessions. So as you’d expect, the popular responses ranged from weddings to parties to everything I’d consider loud and not intimate.

I’ve sometimes been asked why I love being alone but I hardly hear people ask others why they always feel the need to be around others? It is truly baffling to me yet no one ever feels a NEED to explain. Don’t get me wrong. I love spending QUALITY (and not quantity- you can see someone everyday and still not know them) time my family and my carefully selected friends. However, it would be impossible for me to give them the quality support or numerous expressions of love they deserve if I do not know myself. 

It sounds counterintuitive but let’s pause for a minute and think this through. If you had 6 friends and they all wore the same clothes, spoke the same language (deep yawn) and laughed out loud with the same pitch (I know- I love hyperboles :)), how much depth will they add to your everyday experience?

Now, let’s say each person added something novel to your plate. Would that not enhance the quality of your life? So what about you? How do YOU add to someone’s life when you do not know what you can add? And how do you know when to step back when WHAT you have, WHO you are, THAT which is part of you and DEFINES you, is being stolen- IF you do not even know what you possess?

Obviously, living in a shared space(the world), simply means it is impossible to have a quality life alone! So whether you are trying to grow yourself personally, or even better, enrich the world around you with simply being the best version of yourself, there’s that big exam question that quite frankly, only YOU can answer. How cool is that?

So I ask you today, without the distractions in the world, how would you answer the question ‘WHO are you?’

I would love to hear/read your thoughts about this blog in the comments below. Tell me about your self-discovery journey and how that has impacted people around you?

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