“If I were to liken an individual to a ray of light, I would say that in this refractory world, an image may be perceived differently depending on the lens of the perceiver! Hence, to not truly behold one’s identity puts one at risk of morphing into the images created through other lenses! “
Kukua Anthonyin
Understanding your identity allows you to estimate the perceiver’s refractory error. And while we often feel a need to correct an error, sometimes the images perceived have nothing to do with the lens and only time can tell!
What did I go wrong?
What did I miss?
Was it a misjudgment?
How did I not predict this end from the beginning? Why did I ignore the prediction?
How do I learn when I cannot perceive a lesson?
As these questions rushed through my neural circuit, warm tears dripped down my cheeks, falling on my sheet as I lay down in the pitch-black.
As years have gone by, I’ve experienced what seemed like inactive/ unexcitable lacrimal glands. So this year, I prayed to God for tears! But boy, does God allow answered prayers to surpass our understanding 🙂 ! I’d somehow created a formula for ways to move past hurt. Forgiveness, for me, was simply the process of understanding the viewpoint of the offender. But what if there is ‘no point to view’? As I’ve written in the past, the communication of non-communication is indeed a statement! But what do we do with that statement?
Now, it seems easier to answer! It seems easier to say that – remind yourself of your IDENTITY! That is, if indeed you know your identity! What this reminder does, is not to silence your emotions but to put things into perspective. While it’s healthy to feel emotions, like most things, you’d agree that an excess of negative emotions over a long period of time (I know this sounds subjective but stay with me) would be detrimental to you, and those around you. So much so that it may modify your identity into something unrecognizable to people who TRULY know you! And so who are you? What counsel would you receive from the people you have vetted to love you most in the past and how can you reconnect to that in your lowest moment?
How do you gracefully move past hurt? (I’m able to document this now after a period of introspection.)
1. You refocus your lens! You ask yourself Who am I? Whose am I ? What is my purpose?
2. Understand that not everyone will understand you or even ‘TRY TO UNDERSTAND YOU’ and you will not be able to ‘PROVE’ who you are to everyone. And that is Ok! I believe that as long as you’re open to communicating, (and not necessarily DEBATING… as that can be tiring) you’re doing a great job!
3. You will not always get an apology! In fact, sometimes your offender will not think he or she has been offensive! And not all justifications might make sense. But you’ll still know one thing. Your identity! And if you can focus your lens through love, you’re doing an even more marvelous job. Kudos!
How do you re-assess your emotional state?
If you can look back on that issue, or lost friendship/ relationship and smile or be thankful for where you are regardless of/ or sometimes BECAUSE of your past experiences (which may have not been rosy), you need to celebrate this WIN! You just beat another of life’s hurdles!
I would love to hear about how you have navigated emotional turmoil in the past. Leave a comment below ;
Hacks of life 
Leave a comment