11k Meters Mid Air

Within the cerebral HQ

Twenty Four,

We’ve had a SOMEWHAT good camaraderie. 

Where memories fail, you’ve indeed closed the gap. I write to you on my way home! And you may ask, is home not where I am? I guess time and change of circumstances reveals what’s truly hidden within! Beyond where ‘I’ am, is where I’ve truly felt a sense of belonging; family! For a year filled with so many cherished lessons, you sure did know how to teach them…… UNYIELDINGLY!

Twenty four! I reflect back and chuckle about last summer because you sure knew how to bring it! You conveniently planned the inconveniences right in the middle of the triumphs. Feelings of disappointment, displacement, anger, hurt, desperation with a spice of exasperation lingered long enough to freeze my thoughts, holding them captive for a good amount of time! Surely, your summer cannot be described with a single word! You made certain of that! But I remember how in those times tumultuous moments, I always had the right word! I’ve never been more thankful to know Christ! To go through a Bible plan that literally addressed each day’s agony was nothing short of a blessing! The story of Job may seem far stretched and to say I could relate to him may seem preposterous but do we not all have different pain tolerances? For an INTJ, you know emotions either run deep or are NULL.

Regardless, Twenty Four, thank you! Thank you for the many lessons I did not exactly go looking for and the ones I sought! I may have started this year thinking I knew all about myself! You taught me that there were certain parts of me that needed awakening and OH BOY, are they wide awake! I’ve asked Twenty Five to help me with the management bit! I’d like to think that I passed the tests you threw my way. For someone who has blogged on topics of love and forgiveness, applying skills I’d written in theory was clearly not always transferable!

I learned that practicing unconditional love when my well is empty is impractical! I know it sounds cliche at this point. However, love, by the 1 Cor 13 definition, as opposed to what Hollywood portrays is the most selfless act there is.

Love by definition would therefore be described as everything my self denies when there is no transactional effect! When there is no expectation of a benefit, price or reward, what really is your incentive? The concept of PERFECT love may seem ephemeral in the moment. Nonetheless, there seems to be nothing else like it.

I’ve learned that to love unconditionally is to perform acts of kindness! And leave it there! Just that! Well maybe not ‘just’ but ‘that’! Because that’s simply what I’m called to do! Of course, we’ll leave the dissection of the word ‘kindness’ to another day. But, nothing heals you faster than choosing Love over fear! 1 John 4 18 sums it up beautifully as; ‘For there is no fear in love. Perfect love casts out fear’. This, for me, begged the question; what is hate and what is its source! Is hate not the opposite of love? I’ve told Twenty Five that I’m feeling rather equipped to delve more into this subject! However, it would seem that the opposite of love is not what I may have thought! It seems 1 John 4 really hits the nail on the head.  Why is there no fear in love and what may we be afraid of? Fear of being called weak, fear of lack of reciprocity, fear of losing time, you name it. 

Twenty Four! I tried being free after multiple introspective moments and I realized that I really do have agency in how I interpret what comes my way and how I choose to react to it. I’d like to say that freedom in love felt better! I’m asking Twenty Five to remind me of this switch in mindset as we tackle all the bottlenecks ahead! We are ready for victory!

So, thank you, Twenty Four! Thank you the good and the bad. Currently, being a plant mom (it’s still crazy to think that I once thought I did not have the patience to keep a plant alive- admittedly, after killing so many plants gifted to me), I’ve learned to see the multiple variables that go into growth and how modification of these things may/ may not allow a plant to bloom at different growth stages. I’ve learned that sometimes more action is needed! Sometimes dormancy is the solution! Ultimately, I’m aware that regardless of the  ebb and flow of life, growth is not void! Not if you are looking for it. Furthermore, PATIENCE in growing pains not only reaps a reward, but a reward that you can actually realize, reflect on and BE THANKFUL for!

So long, Twenty Four.

Sincerely,

Kukua Anthonyin